36-year-old stepmom forces 18-year-old stepdaughter to babysit her 3-month-old baby onto her without asking, won't take no for an answer: 'I have woken up to her crib in my room'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Apr 2, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

If I were the mother of a 3-month-old, I would not be handing her off to anyone and everyone in my vicinity to babysit. That's one of the most vulnerable and difficult times of motherhood because the baby is wholly dependent on you for survival, and your hormones are still totally out of whack from being pregnant. Most mothers are having to beg their extended family to not pass the baby around like a hot potato when they're freshly out of the newborn stage. I totally understand that not every mother, even of a fresh baby, is going to want her baby around her 24/7, so other family members need to do their part in helping to take care of this little human.  However, it is suspicious when a parent throws a newborn baby into the arms of someone who does not particularly want to take care of them. 

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  • The stepmom in this story is more than willing to give her 3-month-old baby to her 18-year-old stepdaughter any time, any place, and under any circumstances. She will just hand her the baby and storm off, without bothering to ask whether she is willing and able to take care of an infant that day. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10488828672
    via Alexander Grey

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    AITA for refusing to babysit my stepmom’s baby even though I’m living in her house?

    Okay, so I (18F) just graduated high school and am taking a gap year before college. I live with my dad (45M) and my stepmom (36F), who just had a baby three months ago. I work part-time and contribute to my own expenses, but I don't pay rent or anything.
    via u/Significant_Year5200
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    Ever since the baby was born, my stepmom has been asking me to "help out" more, which has slowly turned into her just expecting me to babysit for free whenever she wants a break. At first, I didn't mind watching my half-sister here
    via u/Significant_Year5200
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    and there, but it's gotten ridiculous. She'll call me home from hanging out with my friends, wake me up early on my days off, or just hand me the baby without asking first.
    via u/Significant_Year5200
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    via Kinga Howard

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    The other day, she left the house without telling me and left me alone with the baby. I had plans to go out, but I obviously couldn't just leave, so I was forced to stay home. When she got back, I told her she needed to ask me first and not assume I'll always be available. She got really upset and said, "You live here for free, the least you can do is help.”
    via u/Significant_Year5200
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    I told her I never agreed to be a free babysitter just because I live here, and that if they wanted a full-time nanny, they should hire one. My dad took her side and said that since I'm part of the family, I should be helping more. I
    via u/Significant_Year5200
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    told them I'd start looking for other places to stay if they kept pushing this on me. Now they're both mad at me, and my dad says I'm being ungrateful. AITA for refusing to babysit even though I live in their house rent- free?
    via u/Significant_Year5200
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    Away-Elephant-4323 I get you live there rent free, but that doesn't mean they need to treat you like a live-in babysitter, you have your own life too, she can't just rely on you to watch the baby whenever she needs a break
    via u/Away-Elephant-4323
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    Significant_Year5200 OP I don't mind helping out, its just when she doesn't tell me, I have woken up to her crib in my room
    via u/Significant_Year5200
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    Cheezburger Image 10488837120
    via freestocks

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    Justha-Tip That's outrageous. Knock on their bedroom door. Point out what keeps happening to your dad as it's happening. If she's waking up to you pounding on her door anyway, it becomes more trouble than it's worth.
    via u/Justha-Tip
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    shammy_dammy Not your kid, not your responsibility. Do start looking for other living arrangements because this will not stop. Best to get out before the child tries to bond to you. NTA
    via u/shammy_dammy
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    Significant Year5200 OP Yea, I just don't want to leave her all alone with them. My dad didn't raise me well, he left my mom when I was 3 and never talked to me. only reason I live with him now is because my mom di_d
    via u/Significant_Year5200
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    shammy_dammy They're the parents. It's their job.
    via u/shammy_dammy
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    No-Community- NTA the baby is theirs not yours, living rent free doesn't mean you have to deal with a newborn constantly, the fact that your dad agrees with your step mom is insane. If you can I would suggest you to move, you aren't being ungrateful you are only 18 yourself you should enjoy life without having to deal with your step sibling being left to you, especially if you haven't discussed it before.
    via u/No-Community-
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    Significant Year5200 OP I've been saving up, I should be able to soon. I have a job, but with me taking care of this baby I cant work as often
    via u/Significant_Year5200
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    Emmilynnlou Go to your work and ask for more hours. They can not stop you working. Sorry i have work, it will get you out of their quicker
    via u/Emmilynnlou
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    rikimae528 You need to sit your dad and your stepmom down and say, "look, I don't mind looking after my little brother now and then. I understand it's not easy with a newborn, but you need to ask me first. He's my brother not my kid. He's your kid, and you need to take responsibility for him.*
    via u/rikimae528
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    What are they going to do when you leave for college? Are they going to call you home from school to work after him? Are they going to start calling you home from work to look after him? They need to be boundary set. Having them ask you before just dumping this kid on you is a good first step.
    via u/rikimae528
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    Comicreliefnotreally NTA. That's dangerous leaving the baby without telling you. You could leave the house without telling her and a baby would be left home alone!
    via u/Comicreliefnotreally
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    No_Form8498 NTA. You are definitely not in the wrong here. While it's understandable that your stepmom needs help, it's also important for her to respect your boundaries. You're not a free nanny just because you're living in their house. You already contribute by working part-time and covering your own expenses, and being asked to babysit at the drop of a hat without prior consent is unreasonable. It's essential to have boundaries with family, and you're not obligated to sacrifice your own time
    via u/No_Form8498
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    m1st3rb4c0n You're not that's child's parent, and tell them that next time they leave the baby by themselves, you'll call the police for child abandonment.
    via u/m1st3rb4c0n
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    Due-Yoghurt4916 Ask why your dad isn't giving her a break and babysitting his own kid
    via u/Due-Yoghurt4916
  • 25
    Quiet_Village_1425 Time to move out.
    via u/Quiet_Village_1425

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family dynamics family drama baby entitled parents crazy things parents say stepmom parenting stepdaughter family Parenting Fail parents entitled people Parenting FAILS
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